


Wings, Reconsidered

by Kissa



Series: Taking Flight [3]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Attempted Suicide, Depression, Happy Ending, Help, M/M, Protective Jace Wayland, Suicide Attempt, Unseen, Wingfic, Wings, awe, temporary mcd, there's the payoff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-13 00:09:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29144235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kissa/pseuds/Kissa
Summary: Jace's wings may have come in at a very bad time, but they reveal themselves and the powers they carry at a moment when they are most needed.Warning: attempted suicide ( that's canon) and temporary MCD.
Relationships: Alec Lightwood/Jace Wayland
Series: Taking Flight [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2136123
Comments: 10
Kudos: 25





	Wings, Reconsidered

It’s become another sore topic for Jace, along with his childhood spent with Valentine and other past wounds.    
  
Around him, everyone got their wings and learned to use them.    
  
Izzy has beautiful deep burgundy wings, so unique and beautiful and strong, just like her. She was the first one to learn to fly on her own.    
  
Alec has dark, obsidian-coloured wings, with shiny feathers and so large they can fill the whole training room when he stretches them out. He had some trouble learning how to use them, but eventually he got the hang of it, not long after Izzy.    
  
Jace tried and did everything the trainers suggested. He’s twenty-three now and he’s never seen his own wings. He knows he has a pair, if his lonely ordeal in that crypt three years ago is anything to go by. But no matter how much he relaxed, meditated, concentrated and all that crap… nothing.    
  
It took a huge toll on his self-worth and confidence. He isolated himself, ashamed, and only Alec is able to get through to him and console him… but the effects of their talks never last. They go on missions, Jace fights extra hard, endangers himself and the others, and everything is so much bleaker than before.    
  
Both Alec and Izzy are worried sick. Alec would give his own wings in a heartbeat in exchange for Jace getting to see and use his. He doesn’t understand why the angels would torment and humiliate Jace like this. Give him the pain, but not the wings themselves? What sort of cruel game is that?    
  
And then the pieces making up their life’s picture are smashed together and rearranged anew by outer forces.    
  
It is revealed that Jace is a Herondale. The last Herondale - practically royalty.    
  
Alec gets named Head of the New York Institute and although he’s trained for this his entire life, the adjustment is slow and lengthy.    
  
Then, to top everything off, Alec gets possessed and, while his body is inhabited by the demon, he kills Jocelyn with his bare hands. Clary knows it wasn’t him and holds no ill feelings against him, but the damage is done and Alec, in pure Alec fashion, still blames himself.    
  
Jace and he are practically strangers - Jace goes on patrol after patrol, mission after mission, desperately trying to prove to the others and to himself that he is still the Jace they know and respect, the protector, the warrior, the exceptional hero - now, not as exceptional anymore because he is the only one with no-show wings.

Physically, they are worlds apart too. Alec and Jace were inseparable since Jace was fifteen, one soul in two bodies and all that entails. They’ve been lovers for just as long and everything was always seamless and natural - and now Jace sleeps with pyjamas on, a barrier he put up after possibly the most embarrassing incident in his entire life. When it became clear that his wings would not reveal themselves, something inside Jace withered away. No matter what Alec tried, his parabatai’s body remained cold and indifferent to his touch.    


Jace is a walking open wound; Alec is a walking open wound too, for his own reasons. And there’s no healing on the horizon.    
  
He loses sight of Alec, who is struggling to stay afloat among his new responsibilities and the guilt he feels about Jocelyn.    
  
Alec loses sight of him, tired of chasing after him and begging him to spare himself and not stay away for so long.    
  
Between their running away from each other and their two kinds of denial, their bond suffers, frayed and weak.    
  
It all comes to a head when Max, their little brother, has his rune party. Magnus offers to host it at his loft, and in the midst of the partying and the alcohol, another, more perverse demon strikes the oblivious Shadowhunters.    
  
It makes them say the most horrible things to each other; fears which surface uncensored and long held grudges reveal themselves in the span of minutes. People see what they fear projected around them like tangible reality.    
  
The demon makes Clary call Alec a murderer to his face - a traitor, a failure and a shitty leader.    
  
Her harsh words cut deep and are the last drop in an already overflowing cup of guilt.    
  
Alec goes to the balcony, hops onto the railing and lets himself fall backwards - no stele, no runes, no wings because he’s drunk and in turmoil and there is no way he can control his emotions in this state. All the more, he cannot think of a better solution to everyone’s problems beyond removing himself from their realities.    
  
Magnus sees the scene unfold and tries to pull Alec back up with his magic, but he is weakened from alcohol and previous extensive use of magic.    
  
It’s the warlock’s distressed wail that alerts Jace and he comes running to the balcony.    
  
In a split second, he knows. Alec’s not there. Alec isn’t anywhere. There’s no time to process and feel and think. All he can do is follow his parabatai over the railing.    
  
He’s failed Alec so much lately, so selfishly grieving over a gift that he arrogantly took for granted. He can’t leave his parabatai alone in death. And if he’s honest, he doesn’t want to stay behind alone in life.    
  
The fall is long, but it does end and the last thing Alec sees in his life are Jace’s beautiful white wings spreading, a strong glow to them and sparkling metallic dust shedding from the gold-dipped tips.    
  
Alec’s body bounces off the pavement below from the force of the fall and Jace catches him in his arms. His wings act of their own accord and wrap themselves around Alec.

The wings flap in slow motion around them. There’s a blinding glow and gold dust falls from the wing tips.    
  
Suddenly, it’s three seconds ago - again - and they are still falling. Jace catches Alec and soars, holding his parabatai against his chest as he flies back up to Magnus’ balcony, in time for Magnus, Izzy and Maryse to see them land safely.    
  
A glimpse is all they get and Jace’s wings fold themselves away.    
  
He sits down on the terrace swing Magnus has in a corner, still holding Alec, curled up and small.    
  
When Alec looks up, he sees the silvery streaks marking Jace’s cheeks and he reaches up, drying them with his thumb.    
  
They need to talk at length and solve the issues plaguing their bond and their love. But for now, all they can do is kiss, feeling the bond flare back up to its whole and powerful state.    
  
(the end)  
  


Jace with the pretty gold-dipped wings:

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed this fic or this series, please leave a kudos and a comment.


End file.
